Difficult Dwight #1

Friends,

If we have had any type of conversation within the last 2 years, it was probably at some point evident that I have watched far too many episodes of "The Office".  

For those of you that have better things to do with your time than binge on Netflix for hours, the above named is a comedy about the daily situations that arise in a mid-sized paper company. One of the main characters, Dwight Schrute, is the epitome of someone that you do not want to work with. He is an irritating, boastful, stubborn, and closed-minded man with no common sense or social skills that is constantly sucking up to the boss, Michael Scott. Essentially, a co-worker's worst nightmare. Unfortunately, I have worked with a few Dwights. 

Difficult Dwight stories are all true stories that have happened to me with things such as names and other incriminating details changed. However, none of these are about my current position. 

As an entry-level employee at any organization, you are at the bottom of the organizational hierarchy. You have the least experience and are the most easily removed. Because of this, if there is a Dwight in your office, doing anything about it is almost impossible. 

From what I understand, most professional environments have a mutual understanding of two topics to avoid in the workplace at all costs: politics and religion. Other than those two things, I think healthy discussion, especially about ways to be more productive and beneficial, are good things to talk about. What I did not expect, however, was to be immediately shot down and repeatedly kicked for my ideas. 

I was having a seemingly open-minded discussion with two coworkers, let's name them Polly and Jeffrey, regarding the way that the company hierarchy was set up. Being extremely familiar with this workplace and its history, I mentioned things that I believe were done better in previous years but had been lost during current times. Polly and Jeffrey did not agree. However, instead of simply stating their opinion, they took it personally. The next thing I knew, I was being attacked for my views. Jeffrey got angry, insulted me, and left after slamming the door behind him. Polly continued to yell at me. 

This is probably where you're thinking that I am being bias and I must have said something pretty awful to elicit this type of response. I didn't. Even if I had, their behavior has no place in an office. 

After a break, I was still extremely upset and unable to calm down. I felt like my physical presence was unwanted and I could see and hear coworkers talking about the spat as the rumors started to spread. I then did what I thought was best, and I sought out my immediate supervisor, Cory. I told Cory about the incident but still felt mortified and bashed, so I couldn't keep my emotions down and was crying. I told Cory that I felt extremely disrespected and that I didn't think there was a place for me in a company where I could be treated that way. Then Cory acted in a way that I hope to never, ever relive. 

Cory called Jeffrey over and instead of having us talk, he embraced him in a hug and stood with arms over each other's shoulders while lecturing me about not understanding Jeffrey's personality or sense of humor. My opinion on what happened was not asked. Needless to say, I did not stay at this position for much longer. 

This incident happened years ago and I still hear about my previous coworkers getting together for a beer after hours and bashing my opinions, my actions, and me in general. To you, Jeffrey, Cory, and Polly, I say this: thank you for teaching me about the working environment that I now avoid at all costs. Currently, I work in a place where my thoughts and opinions are not only listened to, but asked for. 

Even as an entry-level professional, never should a person have to feel so disrespected, demoralized, and disheartened. 

Coming soon: Difficult Dwight #2. 

Love,

Christine  

Never Do Nothing

From the moment we take our first breath, expectations are drilled into us. What well-studied parent doesn’t know when all of baby’s firsts are suppose to occur? Now, before I step up on my soapbox, please understand that I don’t think that these expectations always have negative results.  As I allude to later, I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. But I think there is a time when society should learn to be more tolerant. This occurs when there is too much pressure.

For as long as I can remember, I have had an insatiable need to reach the top. In classes, this meant getting the top grades. In music, I ended up the section leader of every ensemble and drum major of our marching band. At home, it meant doing all I could to be my parents’ favorite.

As I got older, the top was not as easily reached. Math was not my strong suit and my grades began to slip. However, unfortunately, that wasn’t the only subject that suffered. The more I felt that I couldn’t live up, the more pressure I seemed to feel. It was like a giant pillow pushing down on me. It was slowly suffocating my good will.

UW-Madison had been my dream school. I was reminded constantly about the familial connections and the prestige the school held. I casually explored other schools but knew where I was supposed to go. When the time came, I applied…and was wait-listed. This was the first major domino to fall. Maybe I couldn’t be the person that was expected of me.

In college at UW-La Crosse, I learned more than I could ever have hoped to. Within it’s boundaries, I first loved, lost, drank, failed, and truly succeeded. And it’s here I learned to not just accept, but to question.

The older we get, the more life changing our pressures seem to become. Say this, wear that, meet man, graduate then, career immediately, marry him, buy a house, have kids, be happy, repeat cycle. Everyday, I see people who seem to get stuck in this way of thinking. Believe me, if it worked out this way, I would be happy. But everyday, I question how much of this structure I really need. My ultimate goal in life is to feel successful by my terms (which could probably be a whole separate blog post).

Today, a few months after the reunion of my college graduation, I have a career that took me too long to get. I don’t have a husband, or even a boyfriend. I still have to rely on spellcheck. Some days it takes me 4 cups of coffee to be productive. And I still don’t know when the least common denominator will come in handy.

But I think I’m doing okay.

I have some savings. I have all of my fingers and toes. I have 40 cats down the street that are always ready to be petted and fed. I’m independent. I have loving friends and family. And I have ambition which pressures me to succeed, but on my terms. For the first time in my life, I feel like my head is clear and that I’m truly making strides towards being who I want to be. It isn’t perfect by any means; I love it nonetheless.

One of my teachers in high school told me something I live by: “Never do nothing. As soon as you stop doing something, you stop making progress.”

With acceptance and love, 

Christine 

New Job Jitters

I am already into the 3^rd week of my new position and I love it! It’s challenging, rewarding, enjoyable, and so much more. What’s odd is that this is the second time that I came in after another employee didn’t work out. I feel this adds an extra amount of pressure to me. I can’t help but wonder if my performance is being judged on a different scale because of the negative previous employees and experiences.  It is, however, such a relief to finally feel like my skills are being put to good use.

I also just moved into my apartment (I had been living with my aunt and uncle, who I am forever grateful towards, until it was ready). It’s the first time I’ve lived alone and so far I have mixed feelings. As an extrovert, it has been hard because I get extremely lonely. However, I also love it. It’s nice to do what I want to do when I want to do it without having to worry about anyone else. Through no fault of anyone except myself, I always worry if other people are having a good time or in a good mood or just in general how they are. It’s relaxing to have myself to focus on.

I feel like I have a unique opportunity to step back and evaluate where I am in my life. What makes me happy? What doesn’t? Who does and doesn’t? How can I improve myself? Where do I want to go in life? Etc. It’s been very daunting but very eye opening, and this is only my 3^rd night sleeping in an empty place. I do, however, miss my parents (and cats) very much. It’s weird to speak so little throughout the day.

The loneliness comes and goes but I’m hoping it will get better as I get more involved with things (and after I get internet…J). I’m hoping some friends will start emerging so I don’t turn into a hermit. Not that hermits are bad, I’ve just learned that I am overall happier with more human interaction.

I am very excited to get more involved! Please reach out. I would genuinely love to hear from you.

Much love,

Christine

Ode to Exes

For me, having exes is a very odd concept. When I’m in a relationship, I’m someone who is all in it. I used to be the type of person that got into a relationship with the intent on the end result being marriage. If I didn’t like, or love, that person that much, what was the point in being with them?

My first serious relationship was when I first got to college. It was like a fairy tale and it was exactly what a girl wants her first boyfriend to be like. He was extremely caring and warm. He would walk me home to my dorm every night, give me a kiss, and disappear into the campus darkness. It always left me in anticipation of when I would see him next.

As a year and a half flew by it was evident that problems were beginning to arise. I knew that I was going to graduate and move out of La Crosse in a few years in search of a rewarding career, but he, being born and raised there, had no intention of leaving. He also did things I could never understand. For example, when his best friend would do something that I would consider a friendship deal breaker, he could shrug and move on, stating that they had been friends for too long to let something like that affect them. More than once I pondered aloud how the longevity of a friendship could determine the purpose and sincerity of it.

Soon after, I left to work my dream job (which had many bumps on it’s own that I could write a whole book about), which involved traveling the continent for about 2 months. As you can probably guess, when I came back to his arms, there was another girl in them.

This left me devastated (as I’ve heard most first-love endings seem to do). There were times when I was literally a ball on the floor, sobbing. Not my proudest moments, as you can imagine, but I’m still here today.  Lesson learned: do not be with someone who isn’t willing to work to be with you.

I also have a bad habit of getting sucked into believing what I’m told. Sounds innocent enough, right? You’re thinking, “Christine, people are generally honest; stop complaining.” I’ve learned that at the time, they think they’re being truthful, but they really aren’t. I’ve been told things such as, “That’s when I knew you were the girl I am going to marry.” Yet here I am without a single ring on any finger. Phrases like these haunt me. Unbeknownst to the now, freshly taken ex that told me this less than a year ago, I believed those statements with all of my heart and always held on to a shred of hope that I hadn’t been forgotten.

Yet here I sit, at a table with one chair, in an apartment with one bottle of shampoo.

I reiterate: the idea of exes is a baffling one to me. How can two people go from sharing intimate thoughts and details of their lives, hopes, and dreams to acting like complete strangers? Although I have now been replaced more than 3 times, I still feel the loss of that connection.

Tonight, I raise my glass to those I’ve loved. Although we’ve had some good times, I am thankful that I never again have to pretend that you’re a great musician, or that you talking about your ex all the time didn’t bother me, or that I felt fine after a weekend-long exposure to secondhand smoke. It took me some time to realize, friends, but things like distance and money don’t really matter. What really keeps two people together is effort. No serious relationship is going to always be easy. Hopefully someday I’ll find someone that is as willing to give as I am. If not, there’s an entire population of feline friends that will appreciate my warmth. And food. 

Gros bisous, 

Christine

Success!

To my friends, family, coffee date attendees, committed readers, and other interested parties,
I did it! I finally impressed a company enough to convince them to give me a chance. As anyone who keeps up with me at all knows, it was not easy. I've compiled a few things here that I believe made a difference. I do not claim to be an expert in job hunting but I do think that I have learned a few things.

1. Work hard. As much as I don't want to admit it, there were times that I was half-assing it. Here is where I can give you a myriad of excuses about how I didn't have time because I was working full time and living at home and trying to adjust and blah blah blah. The truth is I did the things I did to maintain my sanity but I do admit that I could have put more effort in. Just accept that it's going to be a lot of work.
2. You're an adult. Act like it. Stop partying all the time. Stop posting drunk pictures. Stop sitting on the internet all day and night. Stop throwing temper tantrums when you don't get what you want. Stop the kufuffin. Stop complaining. Stop thriving on drama. Get your face off of your phone and make eye contact. Employers will look at your resume and know you're young. Do not give them any reason to use that as an excuse to not hire you.
3. No one is worth giving up the things you want. People are selfish. Everyday, this is again proven to me. The people who understand that you have other priorities in your life are the ones who are also going to be successful. Do not let drama and other peoples' problems keep you from what you need to do. This was one of my fatal character flaws as I tend to always put other people before myself. You need to care about and for yourself. That being said, there is a difference between doing what you need to do and being selfish. However, it can be a fine line.
4. Ask for help. This was also a huge problem for me. I wanted to succeed all my own and not need anyone's help. As I'm sure you've had heard over and over, jobs nowadays are not always found by want ads. Some of the most promising and fulfilling positions are found by networking. Look for groups to join, people to meet, places to me. I joined PRSA and always followed up with people I talked to. I've met some of the coolest people I now know through looking through LinkedIn and making connections with people that are successful in doing what I want to do. For the most part, people love helping and will be very flattered that you thought of them. Make sure you always stay genuine and thank them profusely, however.
5. Never close your eyes. There are opportunities to better yourself everywhere. Do not put your life on hold while job searching. Continue to do things you love. There were too many times when people asked me what I was up to and my answer was "job searching." That's not really a response employers want to hear. 

I feel like a sentence to sum all of this up would go something like: Be a mature and passionate extrovert. Put yourself out there. You may not land the dream job but that doesn't mean it has to be horrible. Look at it as a stepping stone at the very least. But keep improving yourself. 

As always, please feel free to reach out to me. I love talking to people! It's a very growing experience on all ends. Also, as I stated before, I am no job hunting expert. I've done a lot though and have accumulated some good information in my head. For example, there are a few things I did that I noticed starting seeing more results such as attaching a summary of a successful PR campaign with my resume. There are some things that I wanted to try but never did because I wasn't quite sure of the legitimacy or how it would be portrayed. For example, writing all of the words you can think of that pertain to your job search in white on your resume. This stems from the fact that resumes are now screened through computer programs because companies see so many of them. The ones that actually reach a person are the ones that had word matches with what the position was advertising for. But anyway!

Gros Bisous, 

Christine 

Welcome!

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for visiting my blog! I truly appreciate you taking the time.

Here is where it seems natural to give you an introduction to me; however, describing oneself has always been a bit of an odd concept to me. How can I sum up into words the result of what 23+ years of experiences and genes have created? Is this where I should have an in-depth nature vs. nurture debate? How can you really understand a person's intricacies when reading a self-written and unavoidably biased bio? Wish me luck in my attempt at accurate self description!

Hailing from Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, I was always an active kid. With two older brothers and a dad that loved to be outside, I naturally was the 4th player to even out the teams. As we grew, my oldest brother, Jim, was introduced to the world of music. Starting early on with inspirational teachers, he grew to love the saxophone. My other brother, Al, and I were right behind him; Al played trumpet and I ended up with percussion. The three of us were from then on immersed in music.

For me, music was a way to challenge myself. I soon was attempting every solo I could get my hands on along with every instrument. Marimba, drum set, timpani, tambourine: I wanted to learn it all. By the end of high school, I had a shadowbox full of metals, was the drum major for our nationally ranked marching band, had traveled to Germany as well as New York City where we competed in a national jazz band competition and placed third, had received an award from my teachers and peers, and had experienced a lifetime's worth of memorable events.

After high school, I went to the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. There, I still played music but had an inkling that it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. During my Freshman year, I went on a mission to find my passion. I talked to the academic and career offices, people in different professions, explored various jobs, and did all the fact finding I could. I ended up landing in a Professional and Organizational Communication major. It felt much more right to me but still, I didn't feel completely fulfilled.

To continue to challenge myself I took up a minor in Music, certificate in French, and was also a Bachelor of Science. I will be the first person to tell you that math and science are not my forte but I sought a well rounded education. In my final semester at UW-L, I was writing a research paper entitled "Job Interview Behavior of Graduating Seniors." Through extensive research and multiple interviews, I studied verbal and non-verbal behaviors that could help or hinder people of my class in getting a job. During my last semester, I also took a Public Relations course and it was here that I found my passion.

And here is where I nerd out. Combining persuasion and words and advertising and marketing and social media and the Oxford comma to create a whole campaign to increase company awareness? Count me in!

During all of this time, my interest in renewable energy had brought me to an energy specific law firm. Through connections dealing with this, I began as a paralegal/receptionist the day after I graduated for an employee out on maternity leave. Immediately after that position concluded, I was drafted to do the same thing for another firm. With law as a vague interest I studied up and took the LSAT and did pretty well. But the longer I was involved, the more I missed my PR passion.

So now here we are, a year after I've graduated and I'm still working at the law firm. I've sent out a total of 160 applications to other, more suited positions, and have a whole list of more. I'm exhausted but not ready to give up on what I love. As I gear up to use a new strategy to find someone to take a chance on me, I invite you to tag along with me on this journey. If this is of no interest to you, that's okay too.

As I stated before, this is by no means an exhaustive view at my life. If you are still reading this far in, I would like to invite you to have coffee. Please, feel free to reach out. There's a free cup of Joe in it for you!

With honesty and love,
Christine