Tuesday, July 8, 2014

New Job Jitters

I am already into the 3rd week of my new position and I love it! It’s challenging, rewarding, enjoyable, and so much more. What’s odd is that this is the second time that I came in after another employee didn’t work out. I feel this adds an extra amount of pressure to me. I can’t help but wonder if my performance is being judged on a different scale because of the negative previous employees and experiences.  It is, however, such a relief to finally feel like my skills are being put to good use.

I also just moved into my apartment (I had been living with my aunt and uncle, who I am forever grateful towards, until it was ready). It’s the first time I’ve lived alone and so far I have mixed feelings. As an extrovert, it has been hard because I get extremely lonely. However, I also love it. It’s nice to do what I want to do when I want to do it without having to worry about anyone else. Through no fault of anyone except myself, I always worry if other people are having a good time or in a good mood or just in general how they are. It’s relaxing to have myself to focus on.

I feel like I have a unique opportunity to step back and evaluate where I am in my life. What makes me happy? What doesn’t? Who does and doesn’t? How can I improve myself? Where do I want to go in life? Etc. It’s been very daunting but very eye opening, and this is only my 3rd night sleeping in an empty place. I do, however, miss my parents (and cats) very much. It’s weird to speak so little throughout the day.

The loneliness comes and goes but I’m hoping it will get better as I get more involved with things (and after I get internet…J). I’m hoping some friends will start emerging so I don’t turn into a hermit. Not that hermits are bad, I’ve just learned that I am overall happier with more human interaction.

I am very excited to get more involved! Please reach out. I would genuinely love to hear from you.

Much love,

Christine

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