2015

2015 Resolutions 

It's odd for me to make a list of resolutions because I don't really believe in conditional life changes ("I'll start working out as soon as I'm less busy with work" makes me wonder, why not start now?) but there have been a few things on my mind lately. I decided to take this opportunity to join the rest of the world in looking forward to 2015 and fleshing out my commitments.

1. Reconnect with Old Friends. I hate talking on the phone. It always seems awkward, there are no nonverbal cues, and I never know when people are in the middle of something. For the upcoming year, however, I hope to get over my hatred of telephonic communication and nurture some lost camaraderie. As much as I dislike it, talking on the phone is infinitely better than any type of text based communication. So, friends, expect some calls (and don't be afraid to call me). I really, honestly, wholeheartedly, do miss you! 
2. Read. Read. Read. I love to read. Unfortunately, I am one of, if not the, slowest readers on the planet. Because of this and life's fast pace in general, reading gets pushed aside. This year, I want to remedy that. I started, and restarted, American Gods last year and am hoping to finish it, and others, in the coming months. Along with novels, I also want to be better informed in the world's current and past events. As much as I've tried to avoid politics in the past, I've accepted that it is extremely important to know what's going on, even if it means upcoming disagreements and the imminent sadness of the direction the world seems to be going.
3. Write. I have binders full of handwritten confessions, promises, dreams, and thoughts dating back to as early as I can remember. Following stints of a mute pencil, I always ended up returning to my journaling ways. There are few better feelings than that of being able to accurately and perfectly convey a thought in written or verbal communication. I want to continue to write, grow, convey, share, and learn. 
4. Fitness Consistency. In the year after leaving college, I started running. The main reason I picked running as my chosen method of fitness? Because there was no other type of workout I disliked more (mostly because I was terrible at it). Thus, me being me, I decided to challenge myself to find the joy in jogging, sprinting, fast walking, etc. In the months after, I lost 20 pounds and was running consistently and uninterrupted for farther that I ever thought I'd be capable. After moving to Milwaukee, looking for a good gym, waiting for my health insurance to go through, and a host of other excuses, I'm working on again gracing the fitness organization with my presence consistently. 
5. Reevaluate Relationships. There is a saying that has always haunted me: you're spineless. I remember my best friend at the time telling me this in early elementary school days. This phrase in its many forms, all I know far too well, has followed me throughout my life. Friends telling me that I let people walk all over me, I'm like a jellyfish, why don't I stand up for myself, stop being a doormat, was a common occurrence for as long as I can remember. When I got to college, something happened. I can't pinpoint a moment or event, but instead of apologizing to people who had done wrong to me, I was now angry. Very angry. Friendship-ending, wall-punching, tear-stained, picture-burning angry. I began to cut ties and stand strong against those who hurt me or my friends. It felt like two decades of anger spewing out on surrounding people and things. People that I absolutely knew would be around forever were hurting me in ways I didn't think possible. But in the midst of all of this bull-headed aggression and depression, I realized something I really wish wasn't true: people will not fight for a friendship. From my experiences, people will not actively apologize. They will not seek you out to make sure you're okay or to talk about what happened. They will accept that you haven't enthusiastically attempted to communicate with them, and they will move on. This is where I find my most difficult ambition of 2015: reevaluate the people in my life. Remember why I cut ties with that person and if appropriate, reach out and talk to them about the situation. Work on my reactions. Control the anger. In some cases, return to the forgive and forget way of life. In other cases, let go of the past and accept that it's a friend lost for a legitimate reason. It's obvious that the years of silence and forgotten time spent together is easily cast aside by most. However, for me, I genuinely miss it. 

2014 Accomplishments

I've noticed over the years that I'm not the best at giving myself credit for the things I do. Thus, in addition to the above list of what I hope to improve on, I would also like to look back on 2014 and make note of my successes. 

1. Blog. I've started and (mostly) successfully maintained my blog. Although I do struggle with how I want it to be perceived (personal, educational, humorous, etc), I've decided that as long as my writing is improved and there are people that enjoy reading it, it's worthwhile. 
2. Website Building and Online Presence for Myself and Others. Built a website for myself (although now I'm working on rebuilding one), for my brother, and for another client. I've also worked on strengthening my online presence and knowledge while also increasing client's presence. 
3. Fitness Milestones. Although my original intent was to lose weight (surprise), I've discovered multiple other benefits to all of the running and dieting I did which has overall caused a paradigm shift for me towards health and not just wanting to be skinny. So far, my farthest run was 6 miles in 65 minutes (because treadmills shut down after that period of time), something I perviously believed impossible for me. I've succeeded at making and eating half a dozen new healthy recipes or meal alternatives, I can walk up numerous flights of stairs without getting winded, all my vitals check out perfect every time, my future looks brighter, and my muscles are actually getting more toned. What started out as an avoidance of future health problems has grown into a passion to accomplish previously unattainable goals. 
4. Career Change. After college, I had no idea what I wanted to do. An Organizational and Professional Communication degree can take someone in an innumerable amount of directions. I had previously worked for a lawyer and decided to take an opportunity as a family law paralegal (without any law education). After a few months, it was clear that the mounds of menial paperwork, constant flareups of drama, and egos of those I worked with weren't for me. In my experience in the law industry, I had the chance to work with some of the most ethical and honest people I've ever met, and unfortunately a few of the exact opposite characteristics (do you sense a Difficult Dwight post coming because it is definitely in the works). From there I worked hard and did some soul searching in which I found my current position: Digital and Social Media Coordinator. I am infinitely more happy in this career and line of work and am excited to see what the future holds. 
5. Ken. This may seem like a weird accomplishment but my intention isn't to say "I've scored a man." Instead, my point of listing my significant other is that I have successfully removed myself from an unhealthy relationship and ended up finding someone that is more kind, knowledgable, passionate, and caring than I had ever dreamed possible (and who is, in my opinion, extraordinarily out of my league). I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and found someone I can see growing old with. I think that's something worth mentioning. And yelling from rooftops. 

To the new year: welcome. Cheers!  

Christine