What NOT to discuss at work

7 topics to avoid at work at all costs and why.

1. Past Jobs

This is a very common trap to fall into. Saying things such as “This job is so much better than my last job because…” seems innocent enough. But at this point in your career, how well do you know your new job to assume it won’t be any of the things your last was? It also leads your new coworkers to wonder what you will say about your current job when you leave. No matter how bad a job is burning bridges is never a good thing to do.

On the flip side, if you start talking about how great your last job, it leads people to wonder why you are no longer employed there or if you’ll ever be happy in your current position. It’s best to avoid the topic altogether unless asked.

2. Politics

Everyone has different political views and work is not the place to discuss them. One simple statement can very easily be misconstrued. Saying something like “Obama sucks” could be interpreted as you are unpatriotic, uneducated, misinformed, naïve, immature, and a whole host of other judgments, all depending on that person’s beliefs. Remember, you have to see these people everyday. Tainting your relationship with them is not advisable.

3. Religion

Similar to politics, everyone has different views. Unlike in other situations, people can be avoided after heavy discussions about beliefs. However, at work, to maintain employment, you will have to see and work with these people. Remove phrases that take any religious figure’s name in vain from your vocabulary.

4. Stereotypes

The word "stereotype" means an oversimplified idea or image of a group of people. Instead of telling you why to avoid it, I’ll just list a few. I think you’ll get the picture.

• Men are messy. 
• Women are bad at sports. 
• Skinny people have eating disorders. 
• Blondes are unintelligent. 

One of my best friends joined a sorority when she went to college. She seemed so much happier and outgoing than how she was in high school. We got together one day and I started a sentence saying something along the lines of “I see that you joined a sorority! That looks-” and here she interrupted me with a frustrated groan. She started to explain that they don’t just party all the time and that they do some great volunteer work. I told her that I was just going to say that it looked like fun, that she seemed very happy, and that I’m excited that she found something she enjoyed so much. This is a perfect example of stereotypes and the negativity they can portray. 

5. Sailor Talk

Turn on your filter in the workplace. The new “f” word can be fiddlesticks. The new “s” word can be sugar. Using George Carlin’s seven dirty words could be seen as offensive or immature. Do everything you can to portray yourself in a positive light.

6. Money

When money gets brought up in the workplace, it reminds me of the ancient Egyptian caste system. People start ranking themselves based on how much they make. When this comes up, you have to remember that there are multiple ways salary is determined and that you are most likely not fully aware of them all. If you do believe, however, that something unfair is happening, set up a meeting with your boss. Do not be accusatory or angry, just seek information using phrases such as “I am really looking to reach the next step in my career; what can I do to get there?”

7. Coworkers

Remember the telephone game? One phrase is whispered from person to person in succession. When it reaches the last person, they say what they heard followed by the first person saying what the original message was. If you’ve ever played, you remember how the two phrases are usually barely related. Keep this in mind.

At some point during this, I’m sure most of you wondered what to do if someone brings up views that you don’t share. Usually, I go with the smile and nod technique. Remember, you aren’t at work to spend hours discussing these things. Smile, nod, and go back to work. If it’s something that is very offensive to you, however, sometimes it is worth saying something along the lines of “I would prefer that you not say things like that with me around.” Coworkers don’t have to be your best friends nor do they have to share any of your views. You do, however, always need to find a way to successfully work together.

Much luck,
Christine

Alone.

Solitude. Isolation. Loneliness. Seclusion.

Words like these seem to always be associated with negativity and other synonyms including: emptiness, confinement, wasteland, abandoned, detached. But why? Why can't they be associated with freedom, flexibility, leeway, and resilience?

If you would have asked me a year ago what my greatest fear was, I would have said ending up alone. Since then, I've spent much of my time surrounded by people. For a good chunk of it, I was living at home with my parents and brothers. I spent most nights with friends or family, soaking up the calamity. Just over three months ago, I moved out of my parents and into my own apartment; the first time I've ever been the sole name on my lease.

I, Christine Piela, am here to inform you, faithful reader, that being alone is awesome. In the past three months, I have:

1. Built and designed my brother's website (with zero previous html experience);

(Still a work in progress)

2. Tried out at least 3 new delicious recipes, and made plans for a dozen more;

3. Learned the recklessness of coming home and immediately taking my pants off;

4. Further explored personal interests without any concern for what others may think;  

ALL the coffee

5. Added at least 5 new scrapbook pages and did a host of other crafty things; 

6. Enjoyed the selfish moments of A/C on with the windows open or playing my music way too loud;

7. Pondered my strengths, passions, and how to best combine the two; 

8. Learned more about myself than I have within the past full year; 

I really enjoy kittens.

9. Began blogging and writing more while looking for ways to best utilize my creativity;

10. Taken a breath and a step back. 

If I can leave you with anything today, I want it to be a paradigm shift on the notion of being alone. Don't fear it; embrace it! It has even been called the No. 1 Habit of Highly Creative People. It gives you the chance to clear your head and think completely for yourself, by yourself, about anything and everything you'd like without distraction or judgement. It allows you to do what you want, when you want, without having to explain or answer to anyone. Are you tired and want to go to bed at 8:00pm? Do it. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to decorate a birdhouse with tissue paper and Modpodge? I now know. Do you ever see a really interesting show or documentary that you've never been able to watch because you share a TV? I've been there. Do all those things and more!

I am not advocating for you to throw your phone out the window and cut all ties (I know I wouldn't be where I am without friendship and collaboration), but I am telling you to not be afraid of it or to run from it. In the past month I've sent 4 emails to someone I was working with to achieve a mutual goal with no response, I've tried to contact multiple people I had previous plans with to follow through but to no avail, and I've felt neglected by the individuals that I was most hopeful to begin to work with. And that's okay. If they can't or don't make time for me, why fret? I think there are a few people out of the 7 billion out there that do think I'm valuable and that want to make time for me. But for now? I'm okay with being alone.

Solidarity in solitude,
Christine